Chapter 16: Expectations are Dangerous

I know that I know better. I absolutely know better. And yet, still, I hold people to these expectations that we all know are, sadly, unrealistic.

Perhaps it is because I try to hold myself to the high standards when it comes to kindess, respect, honesty, accountability, authenticity and hard work. Perhaps it is because I grew up in a world where that was expected of me and, as such, I began to expect it of others. Anyway you toss that coin, I need to return to the land of the living and get a grip on the fact that some people, unfortunately, were not raised the same way.

Last night, David and I went to a discussion led by our incredibly wonderful Rabbi (and friend), Noam Raucher. The subject: SOCIAL ACTION – and inevitably, we started talking about Tikkun Olam. In a nutshell, Tikkun Olam means “establishing forever” or “repairing the world” or “creating eternity” or some variation thereof. I’ve heard it explained as simply as a “good deed”, too.

Anyway, the idea that by action, we can change the course of the cosmos – or for non mystics, the world is one that really struck a nerve yesterday. After the bad week I’d been having, it was refreshing to talk about how behavior shapes the world. I can clearly see how the way you treat others has a direct and definitive impact on the world.

 

Swearing isn't nice, but it's accurate here.

This week tested my very last nerve – it forced me to dig deep and remember how blessed my life is. I had to play nice in the sandbox, even when I didn’t want to because my actions can change the course of the world. I had to play with and stand up to a bully. I had to assert myself, for if I did not, who would? And when would the bullying end?

Mostly I saw it’s negative impact this week – the rediculous temper tantrums, the shirking of work and responsibility, the nasty conversation and the mean words spewed from one mouth to another. Even though it was not directed at me, just being around it was enough to make me feel gross. I felt bad and anxious and it put me in a bad mood.

And yet, even one small kindess following such ugliness can set the world right again……I genuinely believe, withe every fiber of my being, that for every kindess you bestow, for even the mere efforting to better the world around you, you are – in fact – changing the world around you.

As you enter this wonderful weekend, here’s a nugget to think on:

Whoever Saves One Life Saves the World Entire 

 

 

 

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One Response to Chapter 16: Expectations are Dangerous

  1. thatgirlwhit says:

    love it!

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