Chapter 11: Its time to get over yourself

um, 'nuff said

So, at what point do you just get over yourself? Really – at what point do you look in the mirror and say, “Self, you are pretty awesome, but have a bite of humble pie”?

For me, this came about 3 years ago.

I’ve told you about my family, I’m sure. And, I love them – really I do. But there are times that I wish I could trade them in for someone else’s family. Know what I mean? I’m sure you do!

What you probably don’t know about me is that I’M ALWAYS RIGHT – even when I’m wrong, it’s only because I thought I was wrong, but was actually right. Yup, you got it. I’m a know-it-all. I’m bossy. I am the DEFINITION of Tina Fey’s “Bossypants.” And, what’s worse, I hate when someone can prove that I either a) didn’t know what I was doing b) they can do it better/faster/_____________[insert affirmative superlative here] or c) was WRONG.

My parents are notorious for doing this to me. Yes, they are smart and yes, they’ve been alive longer than I have.

Age + Experience = WISDOM

So, like all families – we fought. Or rather, I fought with them and they, like all Jewish parents, guilted me….. Realizing that this was a problem – I decided to eliminate the drama.

Now, they probably don’t know I did this, but it is the TRUTH: I used to set an egg timer (or stop watch or kitchen timer, or something that keeps time and beeps!) for 10 minutes, starting it the minute they called me and, when it beeped, I told them – no matter where we were in our conversation – “I have to go, sorry; love you” and hung up.  This occured for like, I dunno, a year.  And then…….

I GOT OVER MYSELF

It dawned on me: “SELF” I said “YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT. YOU CAN BE WRONG. YOU CAN STAY SILENT. YOU CAN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO THEM. THEY MIGHT BE RIGHT!”

The best part – I found that I no longer needed an egg timer. I actually started to enjoy talking to them – looking forward to it – seeking it out. So, I started applying it to other relationships that I’d previously deemed “toxic.”

[insert choir sining like angels] “AHHHHHH”

It worked!

Sometimes, no matter how right you are – no matter how firmly you believe that you know what you’re doing – you just have to get over yourself  – you are not the be-all, end-all; you are not the authority; you can be confident, self-assured and IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF without being so pompous and arrogant that you can’t get over yourself.

Stop seeing the trees for the forest and start seeing the forest for the trees. Figure out a way to actually live and love those that challenge you. Likelihood is that the problem is YOU. Afterall, you ARE the better person, right? 😉

Humility, like milk, does a body good – pass it on

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